Coffee, Cookies, and Weasels?
by Spike and Tabby
Summary: Draco's long-term girlfriend breaks up with him unusually. He is a shaken by it, but it mostly means he's single for the first time in six years. Set six years after Hogwarts. Based on my friends story. SLASH don't like it? don't read to! K for now DM/RW.
1. Chapter 1

Tabby: Ooookay…

Miwa: This is a rip off

Tabby: NOT A RIP OFF!!! A spoof! Or something…

Miwa: Of Tabby's friends story.

Tabby: But it's a complement, and I loved her story, but I just thought it needed a character switch!!

Miwa: Copier. Is this how you get through school?

Tabby: NO!! Anyways, only the… future part is copied.

Miwa: Like the next chapter.

Tabby: YEP!!!! 33

Miwa: -.- So… **disclaimers**

Tabby: SLASH!!!! Lovely crack.

Miwa: More importantly, the insane woman does NOT own any of the characters, J. K. Rowling does.

Tabby: -cries- BUT I do own the plot… kind of… so don't steal it!!

Miwa: you better leave before she gets out of control…

Tabby: NNOOOOOOEEEESSSS!!!! NO STEALING!!

Miwa: By the way, she does not have a plot in her mind, so

Tabby: Suggestions are LOVED!!! XD

Miwa: ... -.- … enjoy…

Tabby: YAY!!

It had been a long night for Draco Malfoy, and he had an hour before he had to go back into work. He had stayed up all night trying capture a mass uprising of former deatheaters. Being the Head Auror had its perks, but sleep could be scarce.

He sighed. Working all night, and he got two hours of break before going back to work again. He would usually be asleep by now, but when he had gotten home, he found a note tapped to the door.

_Draco,_

_Come have breakfast with me at the café next to my store at 7:00. See you there!!_

That was at 6:30, and now here he was in London, wondering what she wanted with him. He and Lavender had been living together since they had left Hogwarts six years ago. It had been kind of a shock to everyone involved, but at the end of their 7th year they had started going hot and heavy. He had walked out on his family and moved into Lav's new apartment.

She owned a small wedding planner company, and was the head-wedding planner. They were both gone more then half of the time, and recently had only seen each other rarely. Maybe she just wanted to see him… Or not.

He sighed. He had only been to her store once, and was lost. He walked around in circles before finally ducked into a dark ally. He pulled his wand out and preformed a quick spell.

Now sure of which direction he was supposed to go now, he sauntered out the other side, as best he could, as he was half asleep. He was not that far away now, and was still wondering what she wanted to talk about.

He arrived on the street about five minutes later. He walked up to the front of her shop and looked at the time. It was already seven, so he looked around trying to find the right place. Back the way he had come was, he decided, his best bet. In the windows he could see lots of colours and paintings of coffee cups. He walked to the door and looked up to see the sign

**The Wonky Weasel**

It was just like her to pick a strange place like this. He sighed as he entered.

As he walked in a little bell, very uncharacteristic for the place, tickled. It was hung on a little white ribbon. The rest of the place was very liberal and punk. This was very characteristic of Lavender; she liked to go to 'different' places like farms, hippy places, aristocrats, and so on. There was a guy in the corner with a Mohawk that changed colours. It was at least a foot tall. His girlfriend had short, pink hair.

Like that Tonks woman, he thought. The waitress had too many piercing to count, he noticed as he sat at the counter. She started to saunter over, but was stopped by her cell phone ringing. He sighed, drumming his fingers on the counter, wanting nothing more than coffee and sleep.

He jumped, nearly falling off his seat and drawing the eyes of everyone in the café. He looked around to see what had scared him, and heard a tinkling giggle he knew well, though all he could see was a big sweep of lavender.

"What," he asked dryly, "did you do to your hair?" She sat next to him and stared at him with a calculating look.

"I died it lavender! Don't you think it looks great?" She flung it over her shoulder, her voice now carefree and excited. She smiled at him like a little kid, imploring.

"Yes, Lav, it looks great on you." This was not a complete lie. In a punk, un-Lav way, it did look okay. She smiled even bigger now. Her face got slightly more sirius again.

"Draco." Even her voice, which was usually never anything but angry or hyper, was sirius. He looked tiredly at her. "I know we've been together for a long time and everything, but I just don't think we can do this." He stared at her, mouth hanging open.

"Um… okay?" It was all he could think of to say. They had been together for six years? And she was just now saying this? Her face brightened.

"I'm so glad you agreed!" He thought for a second, trying to remember when he had agreed. "I just don't think this was a good idea, us living together. It was too limiting to my endless horizons." At this she made a big sweeping motion with her hands. She looked dreamy for a second.

"Anyway, I started coming here, and found my true passion." She picked up a lock of her hair, and he thought for a second that was what she was talking about, but he realized she was pointing with her hair to a person behind them. He looked over, confused. But wasn't that…

"Pansy. My soul mate!" She did a little giggle-gasp as she jumped off her stool, whipping a little tear that welled up in here eye as she said this. She turned to face Draco. "And now, I say goodbye. We're going to Russia to become a punk-rock band. Once we're famous, come and visit us! Otherwise, we might not be able to afford a guest... And if we don't make it big, we'll join a traveling circus and take care of the sheep!" She smiled again, jumped forward, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and ran back to Pansy.

She looked like all of the people in the café combined. Piercings, hair, all of it. Draco looked like he had been hit over the head by a hard object as he watched them leave. He turned around, still stunned, looking down at the counter. He had known she was insane for years, and that she would eventually run off to Russia or some place like it, but this was quite sudden. They had gone through fazes where they had not talked very much before, but now…

He was so wrapped up in his own mind he did not notice that every person, there were more than he had originally thought, was staring at him. Even the waitresses phone had slid down the side of her face, and she was open mouthed. He also did not notice the door opening again, or the person who came through it.

Weeeeeelll? Can you guess?! Heh, guess it's pretty obvious. Anyways, hope you liked it! I know it's kind of short, but… anyways, I'm going to continue, but it will make me go much faster if you review!!!

**Reviewers are loved like no others.** Not in a freaky way, mind you. Just in a "YAY!!!" hyper kind of way. And they can be good or bad, I don't care, just tell me. I do know that this is DEFINATLY not some of by better writing, but it will do. And hopefully the next chapter will be better!

XD TABBY XD


	2. Chapter 2

Tabby: CHAPTER 2!!!

Miwa: wooow…

Tabby: You know, you could sound a _bit_ more excited.

Spike: Yeah, it's chapter 2!! Full of surprises and randomness!!! And I'm in the disclaimer!!!

Miwa: Right… whatever.

Tabby: Oooh, Miwa-chan just 'whatevered' you!!

Spike: Oh no you di'ent!! –snap snap-

Miwa: …

Tabby: I LIKE **WARNINGS**!!!

Spike: ME TOO!!!!

Miwa: I don't particularly, but they're a necessary evil. Proceed.

Spike: CRACK!!

Tabby: Slash -//-

Miwa: How do you 'do' a slash?

Spike: OC-ness!! Like, total OC-ness

Tabby: Yeah, to like scary levels!

Miwa: Well, I for one am scared

Tabby: And a warning for the whole story, gnomes will take over the world.

Spike: YAY!!

Miwa: Don't worry, she's kidding.

Spike: What?! –runs away crying-

Tabby: Miwa!! You made her cry!! And you know where she goes when she cries…

_Twilight Land._ **DunDunDun….**

Miwa: Tabby, shut up.

Tabby: Anyway, how do you know gnomes won't take over the world? I'm the author!!! Mwaha!! –evil ploting-

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Draco was still oblivious. He drew a figure eight on the countertop. The man closed the door behind him as quietly as he could. The Mohawk guy said hey and his girlfriend smiled and waved. As he passed people, making his way to the back of the counter, they said hello to him.

He did not fit in with the rest of the people. Beside his bright red hair, he looked rather normal. Except for a long, thin something in his back pocket.

Draco was still thinking, still not noticing the newly arrived person. He sighed. He had always known that they were not meant for each other, deep down in his heart. That it was temporary, that he did not really love her. They had mostly been friends and really, supported each other, but now she had Pansy. And he got the house.

He banged his head against the counter and left it there for a second, letting it cool his head.

"Hey Abby!" The waitress gave him a one-armed hug, using the other hand to close her phone.

"Hey Rain."

"Tell me again why you call me Rain?" He took off his coat and got ready to work, putting on his apron, which was thankfully not girly.

Draco, head still on the table, heard the voice from the new comer. He knew that voice, but he could not remember who…

"Because every time it starts to rain you start giggling manically. I don't think you do it on purpose, but you defiantly do it." They laughed. Draco was unable to control his curiosity. He looked up. The yell that followed echoed around the room, and for the third time that day, everyone was staring at Draco.

"MALFOY? Oh no, get out. OUT!" He pointed at the door, glaring at Draco, breathing heavy.

Draco looked at him, wide-eyed with his mouth slightly open. So it _was_ Weasley. He sighed, running his finger through his hair. Of course it was Weasley's place.

"Please, Weasley? All I want is a coffee and a place to sit for half an hour, and then I'll leave and never come back." Ron was surprised to hear a hint of desperation in his voice. He was looking suspiciously at him when Abby spoke.

"Hey Rain, I don't know how you know this guy, but he just had a majorly harsh break-up. She basically walked out on him smiling with Pansy. And you're the normal one. And don't worry, we won't let him do anything." She gave him an evil grin. Ron sighed.

"Alright, you can stay. But don't come back." Draco smiled a little, and Ron was again shocked at his apparent sincerity. "So what do you want?"

"Orange mocha frappachino." He sounded exhausted… was it because of his girlfriend?

"What size?" He wondered if it was still Lavender.

"Large." He thought for a moment. "Or whatever the largest size you have is." Ron started to make it. He had not really cared when Lavender had dumped him for Draco. He had never really liked her, it had just been a fling. She was insane, he knew, so it was not hard to imagine her walking out smiling. But if Draco was all worked up about it, then he must have been stupid. Though they had been together for, what was it, six years?

"Here." He put the 'extra-large' cup next to the half-asleep man. He knew he was being short, and that Abby was still watching him, but he did not really care.

"Thanks." Draco sighed, chugging half of it. Ron tried not to laugh. Maybe he would stay and talk to him for a bit.

"So I heard your girlfriend broke up with you. Is that why you look so bad?" Draco smirked at him.

"Yeah, Lav ran off to Russia, but I 'look so bad' because I've been working all night." Ron smirked back. So he was not insane. Completely.

"That's right, you moved up in life. You know, I guess that means you're my boss, doesn't it." This time Malfoy sneered.

"You should come into the office, weasel."

"Yeah right, bald-headed ferret, I stay as far away from that place as possible." Draco laughed, not quite as tired as he was before. Ron, who had been ready for a fight, started to laugh too. Draco had changed. This, he knew, was the real Draco Malfoy.

"You just want to torture Smith, don't you?" They laughed again. Draco could not remember being this happy in a long time.

"So it does work!" They laughed once more. Draco looked at the clock on the wall and sighed.

"Well," he said, putting his coffee cup and some money on the counter. "I have to go back to work."

Draco got stood up, leaning on his hands on the counter. Ron's mind wandered back to his Hogwarts days as he looked at him. He remembered all the years of torture and pain Draco had caused him and his friends. His dislike toward Malfoy came back in a wave.

"Hey, I'm sorry about all the tings I did back then, and I know that sorry can't begin to make up for it, nothing can, and trust me, if I could go back and change it all, I would." Ron stared at him for a second, then smiled. This was the thing he had wanted ever since they left school.

"Don't worry about it. You've changed now." Draco smiled back at him. Their eyes met.

"See you later weasel." Draco sneered.

"Don't forget to come back, ferret." Ron said, all business again.

Draco left thinking, '_Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow.'_

_--------------- _

"Not to sound girly or anything, but spill." Ron looked over at Harry blankly for a second. Harry sighed at his dense friend, pulling him into a pantry.

"What?" Ron asked as the door shut behind them.

"Don't act all stupid, you've been acting strange all night. Tell me." Harry glared at him with his hands on his hips. In the dark Ron could not exactly see Harry, but he could sense what his friend was doing.

"You know you sound gay as hell right now, right? I think Snape's rubbing off on you. By the way, are you two going to move in yet?" He could feel Harry start to blush in the silence.

"Don't change the subject." Harry said, halfheartedly.

"You are!" Ron let out a raucous laugh.

"Shut up already!" Ron cringed at the punch he received in return for his fun. It was totally worth it.

"Anyway, I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what happened today." Ron sighed.

"Fine." He told Harry about his encounter with Draco. After he was done, Harry burst out laughing.

"What?! What's so funny? That wasn't funny" Ron waited as Harry kept laughing. He was trying to pull himself together enough to breath.

"Dude, Ron…" Harry gasped, "You two had a moment!" Ron's mouth fell open as Harry half fell out the door, laughing hysterically again. He knew he would have to leave the Burrow before Ron came to his senses and beat him.

Back in the pantry, Ron waited, still open-mouthed. Harry was stupid. He never had a moment with Malfoy. He sighed, remembering that last second before Malfoy left. Maybe they had a moment, but **not** a romantic one. He pushed the door open, walking into the light. He hoped Draco would come back the next day.

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Sooo? You like? R&R!!! And I'll love you forever!! And keep writing! But I won't if you don't so do!! XD And, I would really love you forever if you did my pole thingy, because it's important to whom I write the next Snape story on!! So if you have like… 30 seconds, do it!! Anyways, just remember that Japanese monkeys are evil, don't assume people who aren't in the asylum aren't insane, they could have been kicked out, and white chocolate and Thai tea are amazing, but not mixed together. That's all for now folks, and tune in next week to see the latest episode of What Happens Behind Pantry Doors.

Love you all!!

XD TABBY XD

P.S. Btw, if anyone was truly scared at this chapter, especially at the latter part, it was very strongly influenced by Zoolander, so... if any of you have seen it, you know that could be a problemm... and those who haven't, WATCH IT!!! I watched it twice the night I got it, and the night i finished the chapter. Anyways, love!!


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